It’s not uncommon for teenagers to have a bad attitude or rebel against their parents, but these teens take it to a different level.
One stepmother was at a loss for what to do after her teenage stepchildren disrespected her and her kids. To make matters worse, the stepchildren frequently stole from her, insulting her for not working and accusing her of using their dad for money.
The stepmother took to the internet to ask if she was in the wrong after her husband brushed her concerns aside—they didn’t hold back.
This is how the story played out and what people had to say:
Background
The stepmother, or original poster (OP), has two sons from a previous relationship who are seven and nine years old. Her husband has two daughters from a past relationship, who are 16 and 19 years old.
The couple shares a baby together. OP has a job, but because she just had a baby, she’s currently taking time off from work.
Does OP’s husband get along with her kids?
OP’s husband and her kids adore each other. He treats the boys really well. OP’s husband and her kids get along so well that her sons made him a special gift for Father’s Day.
How often does OP’s husband see his kids?
OP’s husband only sees his children one or two days a week and only on his days off because his work schedule is hectic.
When OP’s husband’s children do come over, they only stay for a few hours at a time, such as to eat lunch or dinner. They don’t typically stay overnight.
What is OP’s stepchildren’s behavior like?
When OP’s stepchildren come over, they berate her.
As OP describes, “I don’t mind if they just didn’t want a relationship with me, but they constantly disrespect me and insult me when I enter the room. They have insulted me for not working and made jokes about how I’m using their dad for money. I make more money than him.”
To make matters worse, OP’s husband’s 16-year-old daughter steals from the couple’s home every time she comes over.
What does OP’s stepdaughter steal?
OP has caught her stepdaughter stealing cash from the couple’s bedroom on multiple occasions. Instead of reprimanding his daughter, OP’s husband will simply demand that she give the cash back, then give her cash straight from his wallet instead.
The couple has tried getting locks for their bedroom, but it just results in OP’s stepdaughter stealing other things instead.
Do OP’s children and her stepchildren get along?
What makes OP especially upset is how her teenage stepchildren treat her young sons. “They insult (my sons) because they think my sons are too dumb to understand what they are saying. Yet they understand clearly and are hurt by it.”
As a result, OP’s children avoid going into certain rooms in the house when their stepsisters are visiting.
Does OP’s husband do anything about his daughters’ bad behavior?
Whenever OP approaches her husband about his daughters’ behavior, he brushes her off. “He says it’s all just jokes and that he acted like that to his siblings. I have talked to (my stepdaughters) about it, and they told their mom, who argued with my husband,” described OP.
This seems to be a common pattern—when OP tries approaching her daughters directly about any issue, they just tell their mother, who then argues with OP’s husband.
What happened?
After trying and failing to correct the situation within her family, OP finally had enough. She told her husband that moving forward, he could spend time with his daughters outside of the house.
If her husband wanted his daughters to visit the couple’s home, OP said she would take her kids and leave until her stepdaughters were gone.
How did OP’s husband react to this plan?
OP’s husband didn’t like OP’s plan at all. He called her “childish.” Her mother agreed with him, stating that OP’s approach was unfair to her husband.
This made OP wonder if she really was in the wrong.
This is what the internet had to say:
OP doesn’t just have a stepdaughter problem. She has a husband problem
“If you’re going to leave the house, I’d install cameras. I would let them all know that you’d be filing a police report if anything else comes up missing.
“You and your husband need therapy ASAP. Because this cannot continue. Why is he okay with his kid STEALING?
“It’s not a joke if everyone isn’t laughing. Why is he okay with dismissing your feelings and those of innocent little kids? The age gap between those teenagers and your elementary schoolers is too big for ‘jokes.’ It doesn’t matter what he used to do with his siblings.
“Ultimately, you have a husband problem.”
OP’s husband is compensating for his divorce
“Your husband is making the same error so many parents of divorce are making and not disciplining his own kids. People do this a lot, especially if they’re not on great terms with the ex, thinking it’ll make the kids love them more or because they feel bad about the divorce and end up being super lenient. This does more harm than good because these kids grow up with no boundaries.
“The girls are out of control. They are way too old to be acting like this. It’s not like you don’t want him to see them at all. They’re still his kids. You just don’t want them spreading their [bad ideas] in your house and to your significantly younger kids. You have to protect them, too.
“(Your) husband needs to get his (act) together and be an adult and a parent.”
OP is in the wrong for what she’s doing to her kids
“You are willingly staying in a situation where your kids do not feel safe or welcome.
“Stop putting your kids through this and leave. Why are you staying? He lets his kids steal from you and bully your children. This is not okay. Kick him out of the house and change the locks.”
OP was justified in banning her stepdaughters from the house
“I would usually say that it’s inappropriate to ever bar one’s spouse’s kids from the house, but these kids are stealing things and openly disrespecting you.
“The 19-year-old is an adult, so your husband is not responsible for her. In this situation, I would talk to your husband and ask him to meet them outside the house until he can figure out how you and your belongings can be safe and treated respectfully in your own home.
“I would not have married someone in this situation, to begin with. It rarely works out when someone’s family members are disrespectful.”
OP needs to stand up to her husband
“You have a marriage problem, not a stepdaughter problem. Your husband is allowing his daughters to disrespect you, your kids, and your home and laughing it off as a joke. It’s time to stand up to them and demand respect. Quit being their doormat and letting them terrorize you and your kids. If insulting children and stealing is laughable to him, then he’s got serious problems.
“I wouldn’t leave the house for a second. It’s your home. Don’t let those delinquents drive you out. Set your boys up with fun activities and snacks in their rooms, and watch those girls like a hawk. If you remove yourself, you’re sending the message that they win, and you’ll retreat when they push.”
What happened after OP posted?
After OP posted her predicament online, she tried speaking with her husband again. Unfortunately, she didn’t make much progress with him.
“I tried to talk to my husband, but he refused to listen. He kept insisting that’s how siblings treat each other and wouldn’t listen.
“He brought the girls over four days ago, so I took the kids and left. I’m currently staying with my mother since I’m unable to stay with anyone right now. My mother is still on my husband’s side.”
This article was written and syndicated by What the Fab.
Do stepparents get to parent their stepchildren?
OP and her husband probably wouldn’t agree on this issue, either.
When a stepchild was caught bullying her stepsister by spreading nasty rumors at school, her stepfather told her to pack her things and kicked her out of the house.
Instead of his wife taking his side, she was furious, insisting that he had no right to parent her daughter.
Did he make the right call? People are split.
This entitled stepchild demanded a car from her new father
“You’re being unfair!” a stepdaughter cried after her stepfather refused to buy her a brand-new car outright.
Instead of taking his side, his wife sided with her daughter, claiming that her daughter faced a different set of challenges in life than his biological daughter, who had been gifted a car for good grades years earlier.
Was he wrong for refusing his daughter such a lavish gift?
This isn’t the only family drama on the internet
Who says family feuds can’t start before you’re actually family?
When her brother’s fiancé asked this sister to be her maid of honor, she wasn’t quite aware of what it would entail.
The happy couple insisted that the groom’s sister put down her own credit cards for the wedding vendor deposits, claiming she would be paid back.
After months of being unpaid, she canceled every single wedding vendor she booked without warning.
Who was wrong? Here’s exactly how it went down.
Elise Armitage is an entrepreneur and founder of What The Fab, a travel + lifestyle blog based in California. At the beginning of 2019, Elise left her corporate job at Google to chase her dreams: being an entrepreneur and helping women find fabulous in the everyday. Since then, she’s launched her SEO course Six-Figure SEO, where she teaches bloggers how to create a passive revenue stream from their website using SEO. Featured in publications like Forbes, Elle, HerMoney, and Real Simple, Elise is a firm believer that you can be of both substance and style.
