Household chores are exactly that—chores. They might not be the most enjoyable tasks, but they’re necessary for keeping your living space tidy and clean, especially if you live with others.
It’s not uncommon for children to try to get out of their chores, but one teenager took avoiding his responsibilities to a new level. When his mother overheard him admitting that he was purposely failing at his chores to get out of doing them while the teenager was on the phone with his friends, she came up with a creative plan to get revenge.
After her son became angry with her, the mother took to the internet to ask, “[Am I wrong] for using weaponized incompetence back on my son to make a point?”
Here’s how the story played out:
Background
The mother, or the original poster [OP], has a 15-year-old son. She’s been trying to teach her son what she describes as “grown-up chores.” This includes things like cooking more involved meals, how to clean a bathroom, and how to do laundry.
Is OP’s son a quick learner?
OP says that her son constantly messes up his chores. She thought that maybe these tasks just didn’t come naturally to her son, so OP spent more time trying to teach him. Her son would do things like using floor cleaner that was clearly marked as such to clean the sink.
“It was driving me insane because I tried so many ways to teach him, and I was getting quite frustrated,” admits OP. She booked an appointment to get her son screened for ADHD because she was so concerned about his lack of improvement.
What happened?
OP canceled her son’s ADHD screening abruptly after she heard something that she wasn’t meant to.
When OP was walking past her son’s room one day, she heard her son boasting to his friends that he was able to get out of doing his chores by messing them up.
Did OP confront her son?
OP tried sitting her son down to talk about his behavior, but it didn’t go well. Her son denied purposely messing up his chores, claiming that he really didn’t understand how to do them.
“He went as far as to say it wasn’t a big deal he can’t do [his chores],” says OP.
How did OP respond?
OP decided to give her son a taste of his own medicine as a response to his laziness. She started purposely messing up her household responsibilities to demonstrate how much of a bother her son’s behavior is.
For example, OP pretended to forget to turn on the dryer after doing her son’s laundry so that he had wet clothes. “I didn’t remove the plastic off the cheese slice for his lunch. I forgot how to use an iron for his clothes, his cups that he uses often were washed up in the dishwasher, so they filled with dirty water. He forgot to pack his book so that stayed on the counter, and I didn’t remind him,” OP lists.
What was OP’s son’s reaction?
OP’s behavior didn’t amuse her son. The pair got into an argument, during which OP’s son accused her of being a “huge jerk” and messing up on purpose.
OP told her son that she was messing up on purpose
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Does OP’s husband have an opinion?
OP’s husband doesn’t agree with her creative problem-solving. He’s taking their son’s side and thinks OP is in the wrong.
Is OP actually wrong for purposely messing up her chores? The internet had some strong opinions:
OP is doing her son a favor
“He doesn’t realize, but you’re making it so he can be successful in the real world and also have a better chance of getting married if he wants. Women aren’t putting up with men not contributing to housework and childcare anymore, and men are really struggling with not being able to find relationships.”
OP’s husband can handle their son’s chores
“Since your husband is on his side, let him handle the chores originally assigned to your son.
“‘Oh, dinner isn’t on the table? Well, that’s too bad. Guess I will be having some fancy meal I had premade for tomorrow! You would like to have some? Sorry…there is only enough for [me]. I’m selfish? Nope, just hungry. You want something to eat? There is the kitchen. Help yourselves.’
“‘Oh, your room isn’t clean? Well, here is the mop. Trash hasn’t been taken out? Gosh, the smell in your room must be horrendous…Your laundry isn’t done? How so when the washer and dryer are right here?’
“Be snarky and unapologetic about it. They’re not ready to put in their fair share of work? Well, that’s too bad, neither are you.
“Tell your son that a 15-year-old who does not know how to clean a toilet, to do his laundry, or to cook a simple meal twice a month is ridiculous and borders on pathetic.”
OP should go even further with her tactics
“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Normally, I’d be advising against childish tactics, but the lack of support from your husband means you don’t have any other cards to play.
“Here’s a couple more aggravating tactics you can use: 1. You can turn off features for specific phone lines, like, say, data. 2. ‘No data? Well, I got Wi-Fi.’ You can jump onto your router, find a specific device, and click on it to always be [denied] access to the internet. Make sure you change the router password.”
OP has a husband problem
“You have a husband problem. Does he do his chores, or do you do it all? I would talk to him and be fully honest with him.
“If you WANT to get a point across to both in a more extreme way, you could just stop cleaning up and cooking except for YOUR things. Cook and buy groceries only for you. Do your dishes and put them up someplace that’s just accessed by you. Do only your laundry. Clean only your things.
“If he’s under 18, really just do medical stuff for your son, and that’s it. Also, get him into therapy if you can. There may be more going on, but sometimes teens [don’t want] to do stuff and do anything to get out of it. Therapy can still help regardless.”
This article was written and syndicated by What the Fab.
Would you divorce a spouse who refused to do chores?
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Is this husband wrong for yelling at her to get a job? Decide here.
Is being a stay-at-home mom easy?
This stay-at-home mom dropped out of an Ivy League engineering program before completing her bachelor’s degree so her husband could have children young, complete his master’s degree, and secure his dream job in finance.
Her husband didn’t care, boasting that he could do his wife’s “easy” job just as well as she could.
Does her husband have a point? This is how it happened.
Should couples split chores evenly?
One girlfriend found herself frustrated after constantly having to remind her boyfriend to do his chores.
In response, she gave herself fewer chores than her boyfriend to account for the time she was managing his tasks.
“That’s not fair!” he exclaimed, but the internet doesn’t see it that way.
Elise Armitage is an entrepreneur and founder of What The Fab, a travel + lifestyle blog based in California. At the beginning of 2019, Elise left her corporate job at Google to chase her dreams: being an entrepreneur and helping women find fabulous in the everyday. Since then, she’s launched her SEO course Six-Figure SEO, where she teaches bloggers how to create a passive revenue stream from their website using SEO. Featured in publications like Forbes, Elle, HerMoney, and Real Simple, Elise is a firm believer that you can be of both substance and style.
