Money, especially inheritances, can cause massive family rifts. That was the case when a woman purposely chose not to share the wealth from her late father’s estate with her half-brother.
Was keeping the money away from her older brother a smart move or plain sibling pettiness? When the woman asked if she was in the wrong, the internet had some strong opinions.
This is how the story played out:
Background
The sister in question, or original poster (OP), is 26. Her brother, Matt, is 29 and came under the care of OP’s father when he was 18 months old.
OP’s father is not Matt’s biological father. The pair are siblings by their mother. Matt’s biological father left when he was just 10 months old.
Matt is a freelancer and often struggles to get by. When he needs money to pay his monthly bills, he works extra odd jobs in addition to his main role.
How did OP become the sole heir to her dad’s inheritance?
OP’s dad stepped in to raise Matt, eventually wanting to adopt him. Matt’s biological father refused because he thought that OP’s dad wanted to change Matt’s last name.
Unfortunately, OP’s dad passed while she and Matt were teenagers. The family lives in France, where legal children are required to inherit a majority of the deceased’s estate, with some also allocated to their spouse, regardless of a will. OP’s mother and father were not married, so as her father’s only legal child, OP received his house, an apartment, and a piece of land.
OP’s father was an only child. When OP’s grandparents passed away after him, OP also inherited all of their assets, including another house, more land, and money.
What did OP do with the money?
OP wanted to be smart and responsible with all of the assets she inherited. She paid for her college tuition and repaired her mother’s unsafe home, one of the properties in her father’s estate. Moving forward, she’ll also be using the money to pay for two additional years of education and needed repairs for one of the houses she inherited.
Along the way, she has given Matt money as needed to get by.
Why won’t OP share her inheritance with Matt?
OP’s brother doesn’t just struggle with money. He struggles with being responsible for it.
OP described that when she received her inheritance, her brother immediately jumped in to direct OP where and how to invest it. He pushed her into opening a cryptocurrency wallet, which OP was not comfortable with at all. To this day, she doesn’t touch it.
She also tried to give her brother a steadier income stream by taking her money and buying an apartment where her brother could presumably live and rent rooms, but it ultimately failed after the pair were refused a loan.
OP also pointed out that if she transferred Matt a sizeable portion of the inheritance, both she and her brother would need to pay taxes on it as he is legally not part of the family and, thus, not a direct heir.
How did Matt react?
Frustrated that their business venture failed before it began, Matt insisted that OP give him a third of the money currently in her bank account, citing that her father raised him just as much as he did her.
In Matt’s eyes, OP is being unfair and doesn’t understand his dire need for money because she has not had to stress about paying rent, and he has.
Is OP in the wrong? Does Matt have a point? Here’s what people had to say:
Would Matt give OP a third of his father’s estate?
“Matt will inherit half of both his mom’s and his bio-dad’s estates once they die. (Do) you really think he plans to give a third of it to OP? Considering his mom lives rent-free in OP’s house, you’d think there would be some money to inherit (there) as well.”
OP needs to cut the complicated nonsense and make a decision
After expressing that OP’s grandparents’ estate should remain fully hers, one person weighed in on her dad’s property, writing, “Ethically, OP’s father tried to adopt this man. He raised him and clearly loved them both. OP’s careful uses of the term ‘by law’ glosses over the fact that (her father’s) partner of two decades was also left technically penniless in a marital home their child now owns.
“Either stop lending assistance at all and admit to yourself it’s okay if it doesn’t honor the dead’s wishes because it is enabling an entitled grown man to repeatedly harass his sibling for money, or give this person a one-time sum to sink or swim with on their own.
“OP should either fully ‘own’ that they own the estates, including the emotional labor of saying no, or honor the spirit of the person who died without a will and share a nominal percentage with their other two living heirs—OP’s immediate family.
“This situation is needlessly complicated and the worst of both worlds for everyone involved. It’s wild.”
Maybe OP’s father didn’t want Matt to have the money
“If your Dad thought (Matt) could handle his own money, he would have made a will saying so. Quit giving him any money! If he needs rent, utilities, or food, you buy it. No more cash, crypto, or checks!”
Another individual shared the same sentiment, writing, “It’s telling that no one wrote Matt into their will. All of these people could have written Matt into the will. They didn’t. I don’t think OP is obligated to go against the will.”
Matt’s investing advice justifies OP’s response
“Help him out when he needs it, but the money is safer in your hands,” wrote one individual after expressing their disdain for investing in crypto.
More agreed, joking, “It’s safer in an open briefcase in the middle of a street in midtown Manhattan,” and “Put it open by some homeless people in San Francisco. It will be safe there.”
Matt wanted a third of the inheritance, but this bride wanted her future SIL to pay for her wedding
Who says family financial disputes can’t start before you’re actually family? One bride asked her future SIL to be her maid of honor, then promptly asked the SIL to put down her own credit cards for the wedding deposits under the guise of paying her back.
When she wasn’t, the SIL canceled every single vendor she booked.
Who was wrong? Here’s exactly how it went down.
Was this child right for screaming at her parents?
Family drama doesn’t just end at splitting inheritances.
A daughter was accused of ruining the family vacation when she yelled at her parents to get a divorce in the middle of a busy airport.
Is this the one time that talking back to your parents is justified? Decide here.
This man didn’t want money, he just wanted “me time”
What happens when your significant other is offended by your “me time?” That was the case for one man when his girlfriend woke up in tears because he got up early for some much-needed time alone.
Whose side are you on? This is how it played out.
Elise Armitage is an entrepreneur and founder of What The Fab, a travel + lifestyle blog based in California. At the beginning of 2019, Elise left her corporate job at Google to chase her dreams: being an entrepreneur and helping women find fabulous in the everyday. Since then, she’s launched her SEO course Six-Figure SEO, where she teaches bloggers how to create a passive revenue stream from their website using SEO. Featured in publications like Forbes, Elle, HerMoney, and Real Simple, Elise is a firm believer that you can be of both substance and style.
