Is this the one time that talking back to your parents—in public, no less—is justified?
An adult child took to an online forum after being told that she “ruined” the family vacation by yelling at her parents to get a divorce while at the airport in the middle of a stressful flight connection on the family’s way home to Europe.
Did her outburst actually ruin the vacation? The internet weighed in and did not hold back:
Background
The daughter in question, or original poster (OP), visited Italy for a week with her parents, 17-year-old sister, aunt, and 27-year-old cousin. OP is 23 years old, lives on her own, and fully supports herself. OP’s parents are very active in the church.
The family had a good time in Italy but needed to take three flights to get back home from Venice, totaling 30 hours of travel. The family reached Montreal, their first layover, late due to a flight delay. When they landed, they were greeted by a lengthy customs line, which added to the already stressful day. They make it through the airport in Montreal and land in Toronto.
Do OP’s parents have a good relationship?
OP claims that her parents have “hated each other since (she) was 11.” Her parents almost got divorced when she was 13, but changed their minds. They constantly remind OP that “staying together for the kids” is why they’re “so miserable now.”
Throughout her childhood, OP felt like she was collateral damage when her parents fought in front of her, which was constant.
What caused OP to yell at her parents?
Due to the stress of the flight delay and the long customs line in Montreal, OP’s parents started arguing with each other. Her dad started flirting with a flight attendant, causing OP’s mom to “shut down.” According to OP, she almost didn’t get on the flight home because of it.
When the family landed in Toronto from Montreal, things didn’t get better. OP’s parents start loudly screaming at each other in the Toronto airport for all the other passengers to witness, embarrassing OP.
The family manages to make it to their gate, but while they are waiting to board, OP’s dad starts flirting with another woman in front of her mom. In response, her mom sends her the following text: “If your boyfriend treats you badly, you can break up. I have no option like that. Dad is now enjoying his second conversation with a second single woman since we left Italy and hasn’t had one polite conversation with me. Just demeaning ones. I have no options like you did.”
What did OP say in response?
At that point, OP snapped. She yelled at both parents, saying, “Stop acting like children. This is not appropriate to do in front of me and my sister. Either go to therapy or get divorced. I’m tired of being your collateral every time you are at each other’s throats.”
How did the parents react?
Although her parents continued to argue, both parents lashed out at OP for embarrassing and disrespecting them at the airport. OP’s mom accused her of “playing victim.” After the fact, OP’s mom called her expecting an apology for “airing out (her) dirty laundry.”
Does OP’s mom have a point, or did she do the right thing? The internet had some strong opinions. Here’s how they responded to OP.
OP’s parents DO need to get divorced
“Tell them it’s not 1950 anymore, and nobody cares if they get divorced. It’s no longer a stigma, and they are both not doing anybody any favors by staying together. If anything, they are driving their children into therapy.”
The parents don’t actually want a divorce
“I don’t think they want a divorce. They’re miserable but don’t see a way out, and telling themselves they’re trapped is the easiest way to avoid the unknown. They don’t really think they’re trapped; they’re cowards. That’s why they’ve been blaming you for ‘needing’ them to stick it out; it’s the easiest rationalization for not dealing with the stress and uncertainty of actually changing anything.”
OP’s parents aren’t staying together for the kids
“They’re not doing it for the kids, they’re doing it for the image. A toxic environment for kids, married parents or not, sucks for everyone. Marriage doesn’t make it better and they’re doing more harm than good by setting a bad example of relationships.”
OP should use the church against her parents
“Go the church route to pressure them into counseling. There’s nothing like a concerned youth pastor to get the peer pressure going. If you can afford to have your sister stay with you, maybe see if she can find a part-time job closer to you, so there’s an excuse for her to stay at yours more often.”
Is it okay to ban one of your children from your house?
At least, temporarily?
This stepmother didn’t feel like she had another choice.
‘Tis the season for ungrateful gift recipients
There’s nothing worse than someone ungrateful for a Christmas gift, especially when it’s family. In this case, it wasn’t the recipient, the gift giver’s mother-in-law. It was her husband.
He insists the luxury gift wasn’t expensive enough, and people are livid.
This entitled stepchild demanded a car from her new father
“You’re being unfair!” a stepdaughter cried after her stepfather refused to buy her a brand-new car outright.
Instead of taking his side, his wife sided with her daughter, claiming that her daughter faced a different set of challenges in life than his biological daughter, who had been gifted a car for good grades years earlier.
Was he wrong for refusing his daughter such a lavish gift?
Elise Armitage is an entrepreneur and founder of What The Fab, a travel + lifestyle blog based in California. At the beginning of 2019, Elise left her corporate job at Google to chase her dreams: being an entrepreneur and helping women find fabulous in the everyday. Since then, she’s launched her SEO course Six-Figure SEO, where she teaches bloggers how to create a passive revenue stream from their website using SEO. Featured in publications like Forbes, Elle, HerMoney, and Real Simple, Elise is a firm believer that you can be of both substance and style.
