What would you do if your expensive gift was deemed “too cheap?” For many, an ungrateful gift recipient might be a reason to stop giving them presents altogether.
One woman found herself at odds with her husband after giving his stepmother a luxurious cashmere sweater for Christmas that wasn’t received well. Though the recipient didn’t say anything, her father-in-law became enraged, demanding even more from the couple for his new wife.
Feeling slighted by the situation after her husband failed to defend her, the woman took to the internet to ask who was in the wrong.
This is how the story played out:
Backstory
The woman, or original poster (OP), is Catholic. Her husband is not—he comes from a Jewish family.
OP’s husband’s stepmother is the only member of the family who is not Jewish. According to OP, “His stepmom is a non-practicing Catholic but acts like she’s religious.”
Does OP’s husband and his family celebrate Christmas?
When OP met her husband, she appreciated that the family celebrated Christmas, even though they were not Christian.
OP’s father-in-law told her husband and his brother years ago that they each needed to spend at least $100 on Christmas gifts for their stepmother. OP says that this rule was enforced “even while his brother had severe financial challenges and borrowed money from everyone in the family.”
Every year, the couple spends $150 on each member of OP’s husband’s family when shopping for Christmas gifts.
See also: ‘Tis the Season: 8 Best Flocked Christmas Trees
What types of Christmas gifts does the couple buy?
OP’s husband always just buys his family gift cards for Christmas instead of something personal and thoughtful.
“I think (gift cards) are lame if you have really good gifts in mind,” admitted OP.
Did OP go along with purchasing gift cards for Christmas?
Typically, OP does go along with her husband’s plan to buy his family gift cards. One year, however, she wanted to do something special for his stepmother.
OP found a very expensive cashmere sweater that was “just as blue as her eyes.” On sale, the sweater was exactly the same price that the couple typically spent on gifts for her husband’s family—$150.
“I was so excited because the woman has everything you can imagine,” gushed OP, who couldn’t wait to give her husband’s stepmother the gift.
See also: 13 Holiday Hostess Gifts
What did OP’s husband think of the sweater?
“That’s not a good idea. I know my dad,” said OP’s husband when she informed him of her unique Christmas gift idea.
“Great, it’s not for your dad, and I know your stepmom will love it!” retorted OP.
What happened on Christmas Eve?
When OP’s father’s stepmother opened her gift on Christmas Eve, OP’s father-in-law just stared. He didn’t say anything about it.
“To him, it was ‘just a sweater,’ as though we spent less on her than everyone else,” explained OP. “To me, it was a gorgeous luxury sweater as blue as her eyes that she probably wouldn’t have bought for herself on a whim.”
Did OP’s father-in-law say anything else about the gift?
In the middle of the night, after falling asleep, OP’s husband was woken up by a call from his father. His dad was enraged, demanding that the couple tell his wife they “forgot to include a gift card along with her gift.”
How did OP react?
After finding out about the midnight call on Christmas morning, OP was furious. Shocked that she had to defend her gift, she felt like the holiday wasn’t about the true meaning of Christmas or quality time with loved ones to her husband’s family at all.
Making OP even more livid was the fact that her husband didn’t fight back against his father and shut down his entitled behavior when he called.
“I was so mad he didn’t just straight up tell him, ‘It is cashmere, we spent the same on everyone, and she is free to return it as the gift receipt was included,'” said OP.
What did OP’s husband do about his father?
Despite hearing his wife’s frustration with the situation, OP’s husband chose the path of least resistance.
A week after the Christmas Day fight, OP’s husband dropped off a gift card for his stepmother to avoid confrontation and setting boundaries. This caused another fight between the couple.
Did OP’s father-in-law give the couple gift cards for Christmas in return?
OP’s husband is actually the only member of his family to consistently give gift cards for Christmas. “His brother and wife always give thoughtful gifts, too, rather than a gift card,” OP explained.
“His dad and stepmom never give gift cards either. They always give physical gifts and don’t celebrate with gift cards.”
Did the stepmother like the sweater?
In this entire fight, OP doesn’t describe her husband’s stepmother being involved once, despite her father-in-law’s outrage. Typically, “she’s just as bad as he is, and they instigate drama about insignificant things.”
“She seemed to genuinely like (the sweater) and wore it to dinner the next time we went out,” shrugged OP. “It fits perfectly and is def her style.”
Is OP still upset by the situation?
This situation happened almost a year ago, but OP is still upset by how it played out. She told her husband that she refuses to exchange Christmas gifts with his family moving forward.
“I put thought into everyone a gifts, and I feel they are ungrateful,” described OP. “I also hope when I host Christmas Eve in the future, they don’t come.”
Was OP wrong for her gift and reaction? People didn’t hold back their candid opinions:
OP doesn’t just have a father-in-law problem. She has a husband problem
“You don’t just have a FIL problem. You have a husband problem.
“It is time he stops keeping the peace with his parents. Right now, he doesn’t rock the boat. He’s been doing it so long that he doesn’t know that anything else is possible.
“He needs to learn that though, in the short term, diving right into the fight is disruptive, in the long term, setting healthy boundaries is best for everyone. Until he does this with his parents, he will always sacrifice you to keep the peace with them, which is not healthy for your marriage.
“It’s time for him to cut the metaphorical umbilical cord and stand up to his dad.”
OP’s father-in-law is only upset because he can’t use his wife’s gift
“FIL did not get the usual $300 HE got. As in, he probably took both gift cards for himself, or she would buy stuff for the house with it. I guarantee that is why he is so mad.”
Many users agreed with this sentiment. OP confirmed this could be the case, writing, “He’s a narcissist, so that makes complete sense.”
OP should expose her father-in-law’s true colors next Christmas
“Every year, make a very generous donation in their names to a charity they would hate. If they’re snobs, feed inner-city children. If they’re homophobes, support trans kids. If they’re repressed, a program that helps (adult) workers.
“Make sure the donation is in their name so they get the tax receipt and the follow-up calls.”
Is OP’s MIL the secret instigator?
“While I wholeheartedly agree that both your FIL and husband handled this situation poorly, would you suspect your MIL at all as the instigator?
“Based on the timing of the phone call, I’m wondering if MIL had words for FIL, who then had words for your husband. Did she seem excited to receive such a splendid gift?”
This article was written and syndicated by What the Fab.
This bride demanded a lot more than $150 from her future sister-in-law
When this woman was asked to be her brother’s fiancé’s maid of honor, she wasn’t fully aware of the unusual financial commitment that came along with the title.
The happy couple insisted that the groom’s sister put down her own credit cards for the wedding vendor deposits, promising that they would pay her back.
After months of being unpaid, the woman canceled every single wedding vendor she booked without warning.
Who was wrong? Here’s exactly how it went down.
This wealthy husband made a shocking confession to his broke wife
Despite making more than four times his wife’s income, this rich husband insisted that the couple split their bills equally.
When she informed him that the couple would have to downgrade their luxury lifestyle for her to pay an equal share, he exploded with rage.
You won’t believe what he admitted next.
“You’re a spoiled brat!” Viscious husband doesn’t think he’s in the wrong
Name-calling your spouse is usually a one-way ticket to divorce, but this man decided to risk it all anyway.
Feeling slighted after his wife was gifted a new car that he didn’t want her to have, he exploded, calling her a “spoiled brat.”
Elise Armitage is an entrepreneur and founder of What The Fab, a travel + lifestyle blog based in California. At the beginning of 2019, Elise left her corporate job at Google to chase her dreams: being an entrepreneur and helping women find fabulous in the everyday. Since then, she’s launched her SEO course Six-Figure SEO, where she teaches bloggers how to create a passive revenue stream from their website using SEO. Featured in publications like Forbes, Elle, HerMoney, and Real Simple, Elise is a firm believer that you can be of both substance and style.
