Child support is typically meant to ensure that divorced parents are both contributing to the cost of raising their child, especially if the child spends more time with one parent than the other.
One teenager failed to understand this. She gained access to child support money being provided to her mother and started using it on daily expenses like food delivery and taxis. When confronted about her reckless spending by her mother, she refused to listen, getting into a heated argument.
The teenager turned to the internet to ask if she was wrong for using the child support money for whatever she wished. They had some strong opinions.
This is how the story played out:
Background
The teenager, or the original poster (OP), recently turned 18. Her parents got divorced when she was eight years old, and her father has been paying child support ever since due to a court order.
OP lives with her mother 70% of the time and her father the remaining 30%.
Will OP’s child support stop?
Now that OP has turned 18, her parents began discussing whether or not her father’s child support payments should continue.
Her mother argued that it should continue, and her father agreed, but only under one condition.
What was OP’s father’s condition for continuing child support?
OP’s father stipulated that for child support payments to continue, the money would need to go into a bank account that both OP and her mother had access to. He wanted OP to be able to access the money at any time.
OP’s mother accepted her father’s terms, so they opened a bank account in OP’s name that her mother also had access to.
What happened?
Since opening the new bank account, OP has been using it nonstop. She claims that she mostly uses to order food and cars on rideshare apps in addition to paying for classes.
“I know it’s irresponsible, and I probably should manage the money better, but it just feels nice to be able to pay for the things I want,” says OP.
How did OP’s mother react to her spending?
As child support primarily should be used to pay for a child’s essential expenses, OP’s mother had a close eye on the bank account. When she noticed OP’s frequent spending, she sat her down to talk about it.
“She said that she uses the money to pay for my things and that I can’t use it that much,” admitted OP.
Did OP understand her mother’s point of view?
OP told her mother that she understood, then immediately caveated by saying, “Dad said I could use it anytime I want.”
“My defense is that it’s not like I have spent all of the money. Dad is very annoying about saving, and how we should always be prepared, so I put a portion of it in a savings account.
“Even of the money that is left, I spent about half of it. But I do understand that if Mom wanted to do something with the money, she would have to reform her plans to fit my spending,” explained OP.
This didn’t sit well with OP’s mom. The pair argued back and forth before her mother eventually said that if OP didn’t learn how to control her spending, she would need to go live with her dad.
What does OP’s father think about her spending?
It doesn’t sound like OP’s dad wants to be overly involved in the mother-daughter feud. “Dad says the money is technically mine to do whatever I want, but that I should be mindful of excessive spending and plan an arrangement with her on how much we each can take from the account,” described OP.
Was OP wrong for spending her child support money? The internet gave their unfiltered opinions:
OP is selfish and too old to be naïve
“It costs a lot of money to house, feed, and clothe you, plus medical costs, travel, schooling, or whatever else, and you are then taking the money meant to do that and wasting it on things you don’t need, which means your mother is going to be forced to find more money to cover the costs.
“It’s a selfish view to waste the money meant to pay your expenses. You are old enough to start learning about budgets and what it costs to keep you living the lifestyle you are used to. Have a conversation with your mother about money, and it might open your eyes.”
What is OP actually doing?
“So you don’t work, and you don’t go to school? You literally do nothing and are then using the support your mom gets to house, feed, and clothe you on Uber and takeout?
“I’m assuming that’s what the funds are for. It wouldn’t be child support if it was just your dad giving you spending money.”
Child support isn’t an allowance
“Child support isn’t to buy snacks and toys. It’s for actual food, roof, clothes…you know, essential stuff.
“You’re confusing child support with an allowance.
“If your mom uses the money for the home you live in, the food you eat, and the clothes on your back, then she’s using it exactly as it’s supposed to be used.
“If by ‘courses’ you mean school courses, then yeah, you do you there, but [rideshares] and fun money, just ask your dad for an allowance.
Everyone is wrong here
“Your dad for telling you that you can use it however you want, you for wasting it, and your mom for not explaining that child support is used to put a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food in your belly.
“It’s not her money to spend as she pleases, but all those expenses add up, and that is what your dad is paying for.”
This article was written and syndicated by What the Fab.
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Elise Armitage is an entrepreneur and founder of What The Fab, a travel + lifestyle blog based in California. At the beginning of 2019, Elise left her corporate job at Google to chase her dreams: being an entrepreneur and helping women find fabulous in the everyday. Since then, she’s launched her SEO course Six-Figure SEO, where she teaches bloggers how to create a passive revenue stream from their website using SEO. Featured in publications like Forbes, Elle, HerMoney, and Real Simple, Elise is a firm believer that you can be of both substance and style.
