Why do people cheat on people they love? It seems illogical—being in a healthy, committed relationship requires staying faithful to another person.
Yet, cheating happens, and if you’re the loyal partner being cheated on, it isn’t fun.
When the internet was asked, “People who have cheated before, why did you do it?” former cheaters jumped in with the shocking reasons they chose to betray their significant other.
Here’s what they said:
1. Revenge
“He cheated first, and I was young, petty, and thought revenge would make me feel better,” explained a former cheater when answering, “Why do people cheat on people they love?”
2. Childhood trauma
“I’m just recently realizing how I didn’t receive enough attention and validation from my parents and how much it’s influenced my choices. Meeting someone and having them be into me physically is the easiest validation boost I can find.
“People who grew up with parents actually interested in them and with an instilled sense of self-confidence don’t know how good they have it.
“I don’t inherently feel important or relevant, so I’m always looking for someone to tell me otherwise.”
3. Ego
“Unbridled ego, unsatisfying regular [love] life, and a girl who threw herself at me. I was an idiot. I acted like [a bad person], and I will regret it for the rest of my life.
“It was a hard truth to face. It was a dark time in my life where my ego and my immaturity caused me to hurt several people I loved.”
4. They wanted an easy way out
“I chose a cowardly and easy path. Instead of going to therapy and ending my toxic relationship, I cheated on them with someone whom I had convinced myself I was in love with.
“Turns out, breaking up with someone is a lot less harmful to everyone involved than cheating.”
5. Insecurity
“I was always on the lookout for someone who would make me feel more desirable than the last. Once I grew up emotionally, I realized what a [bad person] I was and the hurt it caused.
“Hard to live with, to be honest.”
6. Someone was willing
“It was amazing how many times when I did have a steady girlfriend, I would suddenly get propositioned by random women or, worse yet, my girlfriend’s friends or sisters.
“It was like they figured if you are in a relationship, you’re worth pursuing, but when I was single, most times I couldn’t get a woman’s attention.
“It was an ego boost, but ultimately I decided to be a better person, and like some have said, I met a person who I truly thought was ‘the one.'”
7. Young age
“I was a [bad] 20-year-old who only thought of himself and getting some action. The high of it.
“37 now. No cheating since then,” a former cheater stated on “Why do people cheat on people they love?”
8. Lack of intimacy in their current relationship
“My partner cheated on me shortly after I had his baby. I wanted to leave, but I convinced myself to stay. The logistics of having a baby and 24-hour care are challenging on your own.
“He refused to [be intimate] with me. At some point, someone got me in a weak spot. Somewhere between exhaustion, low self-esteem, and the sheer opportunity of [pleasure] were too strong for me.
“I’m deeply ashamed. Shortly after, I picked myself up, and the relationship ended. I should have left sooner.”
9. Fear of commitment
“Wherever it stems from, my infidelity never felt ‘good’ or like being a player or anything. It always felt like a cushion for the fear of being left by myself, losing a person who I invested ‘everything’ of myself and my feelings into, and seeing them go.
“It’s like opening windows on the off-chance you need to crawl out of one someday. So often, you realize too late that you invested so much of yourself into them anyway, and when you get tossed out of that window, you realize you’re in a skyscraper.
“I hurt a lovely, wonderful person who I loved very much, wanted to build a life with, got a dog with, moved in with, shared beautiful moments with, and who was just as afraid of abandonment as I was. The only difference is she chose me, and I couldn’t see why.”
This article was written and syndicated by What the Fab.
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Elise Armitage is an entrepreneur and founder of What The Fab, a travel + lifestyle blog based in California. At the beginning of 2019, Elise left her corporate job at Google to chase her dreams: being an entrepreneur and helping women find fabulous in the everyday. Since then, she’s launched her SEO course Six-Figure SEO, where she teaches bloggers how to create a passive revenue stream from their website using SEO. Featured in publications like Forbes, Elle, HerMoney, and Real Simple, Elise is a firm believer that you can be of both substance and style.
