If you’ve ever had the awkward experience of asking a woman when she’s due only to learn she isn’t pregnant, you ask the wrong questions—and know that they can lead to disaster.
Men, steer clear of asking women these off-limits questions:
How Much Do You Weigh?
There’s no justification for asking a woman how much she weighs (unless you’re her doctor). Inquiring about a woman’s weight is incredibly invasive and inappropriate. Not to mention, weight is far from the sole indicator of someone’s health and can vary drastically from person to person.
One commenter in an online forum about questions men should never ask women explains, “I’m not a vain person, but it’s just a disrespectful thing to ask unless you’re my doctor or dietitian.”
When Are You Going to Start Dyeing Your Hair?
A man who notices gray strands on a woman may ask when she plans to start coloring her hair. Don’t assume she wants to cover her gray hairs or plans to dye them at all. Some women prefer to embrace gray hair, so don’t make her feel poorly about her hair changing with age.
A woman explains in the forum, “I’m not dyeing my hair for you or anyone else. The way that I look has absolutely nothing to do with you.”
What Are You So Upset About?
Asking a woman what she’s upset about or why she’s getting upset is a surefire way to invalidate her emotions. Men don’t ask this when genuinely concerned about a woman’s feelings. They use this question to make women feel like they’re overreacting and shift the blame rather than taking responsibility for what’s upsetting them.
Is That What You’re Wearing?
One person warns against asking women, “Is that what you decided to wear?” This loaded question often implies that you aren’t satisfied with her clothing choices. Making a woman second-guess her outfit can significantly affect her self-confidence.
Why Don’t You Do XYZ Like Her?
Have you ever heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy?” Never compare one woman to another—especially to her face. Highlighting the differences between the two women will only result in hurt feelings.
How Far Along Are You?
Unless a woman has specifically told you she’s pregnant, don’t ask when she’s due. You should never assume someone is expecting a baby based on their appearance. This can be an especially painful and triggering question for those who struggle to or can’t get pregnant.
“My mother taught us, in no uncertain terms, that no woman is pregnant until she tells you that she is pregnant,” advises one man.
Have You Had Any Work Done?
As a general rule of thumb, you should never ask if a woman’s appearance is “all natural.” A woman may undergo various cosmetic or beauty treatments for many reasons, both medical and personal. Inquiring if someone has had work done is offensive and can make them feel insecure.
When Are You Having Kids?
“Don’t ask why a woman doesn’t have kids yet,” recommends one individual. There are many reasons a woman may not have kids, from choosing to be child-free to having underlying medical issues that make it impossible.
Another provides two compelling reasons to avoid this question: “A) none of your business. B) you don’t know if they’ve been struggling to have their child. Don’t make it worse.”
How Much Do You Make?
Unless a woman has made it clear she’s open to discussing finances, don’t ask how much she earns at work. Money can be an uncomfortable conversation topic and leave a woman lacking confidence about her finances. The pay gap between men and women is a well-known issue that persists today, and you don’t want to make someone feel bad if they’re being underpaid.
Are You Tired?
“Are you tired?” usually translates to “you look rough.” Even if you notice a woman has dark circles, you shouldn’t assume it’s due to lack of sleep. There are many valid reasons a woman may look tired, but that doesn’t give you the right to comment on her appearance.
As someone in the know shares: “I told a coworker she looked tired one time. That was a mistake.”
Did You Come Here Alone?
If you ask whether a woman arrived somewhere alone, you’ll immediately make her uncomfortable. Even if your intentions are innocent, this can instantly put a woman on edge. If a woman is out alone, it isn’t your place to ask why.
Is it That Time of the Month?
It’s never okay to ask a woman if she’s on her period. Some men will drop this question when the woman they’re chatting with starts to show emotions like sadness or anger.
“If she’s upset..don’t ask if she’s on her period,” explains one person. “It implies she’s being dramatic, and her reasoning for being upset is not valid.”
How Many Partners Have You Been With?
“Avoid asking questions about past relationships or comparing yourself to previous partners,” suggests an expert.
It’s not okay to inquire about a woman’s intimate history. When a woman is open to discussing her past encounters, she will be forthcoming with what she’s willing to share. Trying to determine how many partners a woman has had or how you stack up is intrusive and off-putting.
Are You Sure You Want to Eat All That?
A woman’s diet and food choices are none of your concern. Commenting on what someone else is consuming, regardless of gender, comes across as judgmental. You never know the other person’s health journey or relationship with food, so avoid potentially triggering questions about what or how much they’re eating.
Why Don’t You Smile More?
One of the most frustrating questions women regularly get is, “Why don’t you smile more?” This question is incredibly demeaning and implies that a woman should always be smiling to fit societal expectations.
As one woman humorously puts it: “I could live the rest of my life without any random man asking me why I don’t smile more.”
Being a woman is hard in some ways men will never understand
It’s challenging to be a woman today when society doesn’t take you seriously and expects you to stay young forever. Here are some reasons it’s hard to be a woman that men can’t relate to.
“It Sucks!” 12 Annoying Reasons Why Being a Woman is Hard That Men Won’t Understand
Relationships aren’t all they’re cracked up to be
Many claim your life will exponentially improve once you’ve found a romantic partner. However, some disagree, arguing it’s much better to stay single.
9 Reasons Why Being Single is Almost Better Than Being in a Relationship
Elise Armitage is an entrepreneur and founder of What The Fab, a travel + lifestyle blog based in California. At the beginning of 2019, Elise left her corporate job at Google to chase her dreams: being an entrepreneur and helping women find fabulous in the everyday. Since then, she’s launched her SEO course Six-Figure SEO, where she teaches bloggers how to create a passive revenue stream from their website using SEO. Featured in publications like Forbes, Elle, HerMoney, and Real Simple, Elise is a firm believer that you can be of both substance and style.