15 Surefire Signs He’s Not That Into You, According to Men

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Have you been caught in a “situation-ship” that leaves you wondering whether he genuinely cares?

Relationships are complicated and confusing, but there are some foolproof ways to gauge a man’s interest.

He’s not that into you if he:

Strings You Along

There’s nothing worse than getting led on by someone only for them to flip on you unexpectedly. This power dynamic often results from partners having different expectations and goals for their relationship.

One commenter in an online forum about signs he isn’t into you writes: “If he’s interested, it will be very obvious that he’s interested. If you’re unsure or confused, then he isn’t.”

Won’t Give You His Full Attention

One way to tell a man isn’t that into you is if he never gives you his undivided attention. Trying to converse with someone distracted and not actively participating can be frustrating. If his mind always seems preoccupied elsewhere, he may not be the one for you.

Doesn’t Get to Know You on a Deeper Level

Relationships are give and take, and he should want to keep learning about you to deepen your connection. Opening up to others can take time, but it’s essential to developing a romantic relationship. Be wary if he only wants to keep things surface-level and never asks you the questions that truly matter.

Has No Time for You

According to another man, “If he’s busy and offers no alternative to when you can do things together,” he isn’t the one for you.

Even those with hectic schedules find time to prioritize the important people in their lives. Being in a relationship takes effort and patience—you can never hope to deepen your connection with someone who won’t give you the time of day.

Doesn’t Attempt to Communicate

While communication can be difficult for some, putting in effort is half the battle. Learning how to communicate healthily is essential to a successful partnership. If your attempts to engage and open up go unreciprocated, it’s a red flag.

Disregards Your Opinions

Someone who belittles or brushes your thoughts aside isn’t worth your time. Your opinions are valuable, and you deserve a partner who considers them. It’s a major red flag if he doesn’t take you seriously or sees his point of view as the only one that matters.

Avoids Physical Touch

Physical touch isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s abnormal for it to be nonexistent between romantic partners. Hand-holding, hugging, and sitting shoulder-to-shoulder are subtle ways to connect with your partner in public.

One man in the conversation stated it simply: “If you touch his arm [and] he pulls back gently (or obnoxiously),” it could be trouble.

Dodges Conversations About the Future

It could be a bad sign if the future is a sensitive subject between you. A man who isn’t fully invested will likely try to keep things vague by focusing solely on the present. If you see a future with this person, but they don’t discuss it with you, it’s time to reconsider your relationship.

Doesn’t Take an Interest in Your Personal Life

Don’t settle for someone uninterested in your goals, desires, struggles, and successes. Say you’re up for a job promotion and excitedly tell your friends and family about the opportunity.

They’ll likely ask about it the next time you chat because they’re genuinely invested in your life and want to see you happy. Similarly, he should be just as interested and eager to hear your updates.

Doesn’t Initiate Plans

Are you always the one reaching out to make plans? This could be a sign he’s not interested in deepening your relationship.

“If a guy is interested in you, he will make a move. Even if he’s ‘shy,’” explains a man in the relationship forum. “If he doesn’t make his interest known in an obvious way, he’s either not interested in you at all or not interested in you enough for you to consider…thinking about him romantically.”

Never Introduces You to Anyone

Being someone’s “dirty little secret” can get old fast. You should ask yourself why he’s hiding you from friends, family, and coworkers.

In a healthy partnership, you want the most important people in your life to know each other and get along. A man who keeps your relationship under wraps with no end in sight isn’t in it for the long haul.

Won’t Commit

It should go without saying, but someone who won’t commit is not romantically interested in you. Of course, you shouldn’t rush into a relationship you aren’t ready for. However, it’s natural and healthy to expect some form of commitment as you further your partnership.

Shows Interest in Other Women

Showing interest in other women clearly shows he’s not into you. This could be anything from commenting on the potential for other romantic partners to openly flirting with women in your presence. You should be the only one on his mind if you’re pursuing a monogamous relationship.

Is Unreliable

We’ve all had days when we’re running behind or have to change plans at the last minute—it’s only human. However, someone who always ditches you the day of or doesn’t honor their commitments isn’t the one. Your partner should respect your time and not repeatedly leave you hanging.

Makes You Feel Less Than

The right person for you will never make you feel inadequate. You should surround yourself with uplifting, encouraging people who recognize your worth. A man who pokes fun at your expense or compares you to others is not someone to pursue a relationship with.

Are you struggling to find a partner?

Dating new people and developing relationships can be challenging. Here are some reasons you may be struggling to make romantic connections.

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