Burgers are an American classic. There are endless variations ranging from a classic cheeseburger to the indulgent Swiss mushroom burger. Though you can get creative with your burger, should you? Knowing how to ruin a burger will help you make a better one.
When asked, “What instantly ruins a hamburger for you?” burger lovers weighed in with the cooking mishaps and horrible toppings that make the popular sandwich inedible.
Are you making one of these common burger mistakes?
1. The Meatball Patty
Cooking or shaping your beef incorrectly can result in something that looks more like a ball than an evenly spread patty.
After the internet appropriately dubbed the round patty a “ballgur,” loved only by suburban dads, one individual described her own experience with the misshapen patty, writing, “My FIL loves burgers and makes them for us every time we come over.
“My man means well, but he doesn’t put a dimple in the middle of the burgers (required for when you’re grilling them so they don’t puff up into a ball) and also doesn’t salt the patties. The result is we get these globe burgers that don’t even reach the side of the bun and that have zero flavor aside from the toppings we put on them.
“Every time he bites into it, he gives this loud moan like it’s a sin to even taste something so delicious. I’m happy for the guy, but I just don’t get it.”
2. Soggy Buns
“I can’t stand soggy bread. It kills any burger or sandwich. I’ll eat a burger with no bottom bun if it’s too soggy,” complained one burger eater.
Another offered a trick for avoiding the issue, explaining, “Grilling or toasting the inside of the bun helps prevent this.”
3. The Burger Tower
Burgers sometimes reach skyscraper heights, which makes consuming them easier said than done. “Have you ever gotten such a tall burger that your jaw cramps when you try to put it in your mouth?” asked one individual.
As described by another diner, “Towering heights equals eating open-faced halves.”
“If it’s too big to fit in your mouth, or you have to deconstruct it in order to eat it, it’s not a burger,” decided a third.
4. Escaping Toppings
A single toothpick in the center can go a long way. After one individual stated that how to instantly ruin a hamburger for them included “when (they) go to take a big ol’ bite and the whole thing just ejects out the back,” someone responded with a helpful workaround.
They explained, “Here’s how I hacked burgers using (a toothpick). Cut the burger in half near the pick, using it to stabilize the burger while you cut. Leave the pick in one half and eat the other. When done with the first half, remove the pick and eat the second half.”
5. Gristle
“There’s nothing worse than finding a hard thing in soft food or a soft thing in hard food,” declared one burger fan.
Agreeing and expanding on the concept, someone responded by saying, “There’s nothing worse than having to re-evaluate your chew intensity level when an emergency dentist appointment becomes a potential threat.”
6. Cheese Sauce
Gooey, melty cheese sauce poured over burgers or served on the side for dipping has gone viral in recent years, but many aren’t on board with the trend.
“There’s a place in Mexico City that places a plastic cylinder over the burger when it’s served and puts melted cheese in it. They remove the cylinder, and it runs all over the burger. It looks absolutely disgusting, is impossible to eat, and is insanely expensive for a burger in Mexico City,” said one disgruntled hamburger eater.
A different diner agreed, stating, “I hate anything poured on top of the buns. If I can’t hold it and eat it semi-cleanly, then it’s no longer a burger. It’s a casserole.”
7. Poor Burger to Bun Ratio
A hamburger bun should always be proportional to the size of the patty. Too much bread can ruin the burger-eating experience. Said one person, “If that burger or bun is too small, it just destroys the experience.”
This individual had to doctor their burger, writing, “There’s a place by me that has good burgers, but the buns they use are so thick you can barely taste the meat or toppings. I take a knife and cut off half the bun to make it more balanced.”
8. Raw Patty
“(I) keep seeing (people saying) overcooked (patties), but nobody talking about sneaky raw burger. Still mooing when you bite into it. I’ve seen hamburgers under a microscope, and let me tell you, you want to cook thoroughly,” warned one diner.
This person was on the same page, stating, “Pink has ZERO place in a burger unless you’ve been personally involved with every step (of the burger-making process).”
9. Thick Tomatoes
Tomatoes are a classic burger topping, but the internet seems to agree that there can be too much of a good thing when it comes to them. Shared a tomato-supporter, “I love tomatoes. But I loathe lazy food preparers who slice them into massive slabs. Get a decent knife!”
Agreed someone else, “It seems like there is an epidemic of cooks and chefs not slicing things thin enough. Whenever you see chefs at fancier places, they slice things nice and thin as a default for a lot of foods. There’s a reason for that.”
These popular fast-food chains just don’t live up to their reputation
Diners agree: American fast-food chains like Sonic and Subway are well past their prime. They’re weighing in on the absolutely worst fast-food chains in America and aren’t holding back their dissatisfaction.
Did your favorite fast-food chain make the list? Find out here.
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Elise Armitage is an entrepreneur and founder of What The Fab, a travel + lifestyle blog based in California. At the beginning of 2019, Elise left her corporate job at Google to chase her dreams: being an entrepreneur and helping women find fabulous in the everyday. Since then, she’s launched her SEO course Six-Figure SEO, where she teaches bloggers how to create a passive revenue stream from their website using SEO. Featured in publications like Forbes, Elle, HerMoney, and Real Simple, Elise is a firm believer that you can be of both substance and style.
